Saturday, July 28, 2012

25 Tip on Learning to Deal with Life’s Harsh Lessons and How to Avoid or Get beyond and Back on a Positive Path

By:  S. Congello
They say life is what we make of it. There is no doubt that life has its ups and downs. However, how we deal with them can sometimes make all the difference. Today I want to share 25 tips on learning to deal with Life’s harsh Lessons and How to avoid or Get beyond and Back on a Positive path. There's also a message in each that I think we can all learn from, and when applied, will improve our lives infinitely.

For some people it is hard to find your place in this world and make your mark. I am in my early 30’s and I sometimes feel like I am just now starting to understand the importants of life and due to my life lessons; I am slowly starting to recognize and correct  the things that was bring me down as an individual (mentally and physically). Once you are able to pin point the negatives in your life and removing it, the doors will start to open and you will finally realize you are heading down the right path. I believe at times we are so blinded by life that if we were to open our eyes and pay attention more to our environment, people as well as ourselves, we could avoid some of life’s harsh lesson.

 I recently had some time to reflect on what I have learned during my 30 some years on this planet. In the past decades I have had some stunning successes, and struggled at times, too. I often wish I could go back and slap my younger self and then share the life lessons I learned later (the hard way.) Since that isn't possible, I'll share some suggestions with you. I came up with the following 25 things I wish I knew when I was younger. I hope for the younger generation they will be able to learn and take in this advise; so they won’t suffer and make the same mistakes in life, we as adults have.

1. Practice No Regrets Living. Don't wait to do the things that you want to do. It seems that the older I get the more complicated things become. It was easier to travel experiment and take risks when I was younger.

2. People Matter Most. No matter how much money you make or success you have, it's always more satisfying to share these moments with family and friends.

3. Make a Difference. Charity does begin at home and the place to give back first is to your family and friends. There are also a lot of opportunities to make a difference in other areas-whether you give your time, money or share your expertise-this is one of the most rewarding things to do.

4. Don't Waste Time Worrying About The Past (or The Future). How many minutes have been wasted worrying about things that may-and more likely may not-ever happen? My advice, expect the best but be prepared for the worst. Try not to worry about things you feel guilty about from your past. Either fix them, or forget them.

5. Don't Worry What Others Think. Peer pressure and the need to fit in don't just keep kids up at night. Life is so much easier when you live it for yourself, free of the pressure of worrying what others think. Do what YOU want to do.

6. Take Risks When You Are Young. It's easier to recover from a bad decision when you are younger. It is also true that "what doesn't kill you makes you stronger." To try to go beyond what you think is possible and to take some chances is healthy and leads to learning experiences that prove invaluable later in life.

7. Live For Today, But Plan for Tomorrow. Living in the moment is one of the ways to be truly happy. Doing so without any plans or provisions for the future is foolish. Yes, live like there is no tomorrow, but save for the future and take care of yourself physically, too.

8. Your Time Is Your Life. Frittering away hours may seem like no big deal when you are young. However, when you start to realize that you have pissed away a good portion of your life, the concept of time shifts. Your time is your life energy. You have a limited amount to squander. Being more aware of where your time goes and how you spend it is one of the most important life lessons you can learn. Consider that every item you paid for you paid for with a piece of your life. You used up your time (i.e. your life) to earn money for that purchase. Was it worth a piece of your life?

9. Goals Are THE Secret To Success. By now everyone knows that I am passionate about having a plan for your life. I have done this for myself since I was fifteen-years-old. My goal-setting system has evolved from a list of things I want to do to a series of powerful statements, images and feelings about the future I want to create along with a plan to make it happen.

10. See The World When You Have The Chance. (I have not been able to do this myself but hopefully one day) Traveling is such a worthwhile thing. I rank it right up there with success of any kind. The ability to take off and get away is one of the most exciting, fulfilling and fun things you can do.

11. Keep Track Of Your Victories. Many people dwell on the things they didn't do (but wish they did) or things they did (but wish they hadn't). When you look back at your life, chances are you have done more than you thought you did and made many good decisions. Post your proudest accomplishments in a place where you will see them.

12. Get Your Mid-Life Crisis Over Early. First and foremost, there is no need for one when you are living the life you want to. If you do feel like your life has been a series of compromises and you want to make up for lost time, try to do it early and get it over with quickly.

13. Wait For The Right One. When I hear things like, "Marriage is a lot of hard work" and "Relationships requires constant compromise" I often wonder if these people simply married the wrong person. When you find your soul mate (Read: Best friend and love-of-your-life all rolled into one) being together is simple, satisfying and super easy.

14. Money Saved Is Money Earned. The secret to "having it all" is to live large on less. Many of the most affluent people I know are very frugal. (Not cheap, but cost-conscious.) They have the best of everything, but they wheel and deal to get it for less than full price. Being able to buy what you want without paying full price for it is an art. It's also a mindset-and one worth working on. It's not how much you make, it's how much you keep that counts.

15. Early To Bed (2:00 AM) And Early To Rise. . . I have found that many prolific writers work well into the night. I have also used the early morning hours to get things done. I guess it's my need to be different (I'm up while the world sleeps) and the need to eliminate distractions that makes 10:00 PM to 2:00 AM the perfect time to work. Find your own prime time and don't waste it on trivial tasks.

16. Don't Sweat The Small Stuff. I realized recently that many of the things I have stressed and obsessed about over the years were not worth the time and energy-they simply didn't matter. It's easy to get upset and to feel slighted over silly things, it's far better to just let them go if they won't matter in a month.

17. Things Are Never As Bad As They Seem. Bad things happen to good people. It is the person that is able to put things into the proper perspective that prosper. When you have been through a tough time or two you start to realize that you are more resilient than you thought and no matter what happens, you can, and will, go on.

18. The Best Things In Life Are Free. Sunsets, picnics in the park, walks on the beach and are all priced right-they're free. The same is true about special occasions and gifts. Sometimes it IS the thought that counts more than the cost.

19. Take Time For Yourself. I was once the kind of person who would create things-to-do lists that were a mile long. It would have taken me months to complete the things on my list. Now I build white space into my list of tasks. It's almost like I plan for spontaneity. Try leaving some room in your busy life for unexpected things to come your way and take time for yourself.

20. Make Memorable Moments.  What I want is to create wonderful, happy, memorable moments in my own life as well as my family, friends and others. I am always trying something new, never allowing myself to get into a rut. I will also stop and take a mental snapshot to burn a particularly pleasant experience deeper into my memory.

21. Pursue Your Passion. I have had flashes of "everything is right in my world" but many times what I am passionate about is not profitable. I know that I need to "do what I love and the money will follow" but for some reason this is an area I need to work on. Don't get me wrong, there is a lot right with my life, but what I really want to do in life remains out there.

22. Appreciate The Small Things In Life. Many times we wait for the big moments in life to celebrate. There are so many simple things we do daily that are special moments. Some people keep a dairy, others meditate and still others tell their significant other about their day. Try to take note of the small things that make you smile during the day.

23. Don't Compare Yourself To Others. As a competitive person it's hard to resist the temptation to see how I stack up against those around me. This is a losing game because some people will consistently have more and trying to catch up to them can leave you deep in debt and cause you to do desperate things. It's good to strive to be, do and have more but don't forget to appreciate who you are and what you have.

24. Empathy Is Everything. Seeing (and feeling) things from another person's perspective is one of the most vital skills you can learn.

25. Figure Out Your Uniqueness And Celebrate It. When I was in Grad school for Business Economics, I was living a lie. Instead of going into a profession as a writter, which I held true to my heart, I graduated and went into a different field based on salary (Which sometimes is not the way to go, especially when you have the Will and the Drive),  But in the end, In my heart and soul I will always be; an artist. I fought the fact that writing, mentoring, presenting and creating were my strengths. When i was in school, I would beat myself up because I was bad at and struggled in science,But I did excellent in math and Writing. At this stage in my life, now I celebrate my creative self.







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