Thursday, August 23, 2012

Tips on How to Deal with Critical and Judgmental People


If you’re dealing with someone who just can’t see the possible value or meaning in your point of view, then you’re dealing with a critical, judgmental person, who cannot empathize well. People like this cannot take on an alternate position and view things from another’s vantage point.  They cannot take on the perceptions and feelings that a person in that alternate position would have. If they could, they’d easily be able to see the reasons why their point of view is not the only valid one and stop claiming that everyone else is just “wrong”. People with low or no empathy tend to be very critical, disrespectful and judgmental.  Also they tend to have a difficult time understanding or caring about the fact that insisting your thinking is wrong and valueless will hurt your feelings.

It can be a challenge to deal with judgmental people, but sometimes we do not have a choice. It may be someone we work with, a family member or just some random person. The best way handle people like this, is to just ignore them. If they say something that is inappropriate or judgmental then you might just want to ignore them. If it is someone like your boss who you cannot just ignore, then you can simply pretend that you are listening and let it go in one ear and out the other. Pretend that they are just talking nonsense. If someone is very judgmental, then it is not worth your time and effort. You can just tune out and think about something else when they are talking.
Although no one enjoys dealing with them, everyone comes in contact with judgmental and disrespectful people from time to time. If you're not careful, encounters with these people can leave you upset and feeling stressed. It's important to remember that although rude people may think very highly of themselves, most other people do not view them in the same way. There's a very good chance that this rude judgmental person has offended many other people, and it's not just you that has dealt with their disrespect.
Sometimes, Judgmental people don't always mean to hurt you. When it comes to your mother and father; they want the best for you, so they tell you everything they can think of, that you may do based on their experiences in life. But judgmental people, even sometimes family, can really cause damage unless you are proactive.  Here are some tips to prevent these people from hampering your life.

1)    Work on your self-esteem. This is the key to dealing with judgmental people. Have a firm idea of your abilities, limitations, beliefs and values. This shields you from people who try to make you feel small so they feel superior.

2)    Stay calm no matter what the situation. It's best to buy as much time as you can before responding. These types of people enjoy upsetting you to the point where you say things that you don't mean or start to behave in a disrespectful manner that mimics their own behavior.
3)    Develop a sense of humor. Other people's judgments can be comical when they're completely irrelevant to what you believe or experience.

4)    Consider the judgmental person's authority if it's a work situation. Your supervisor's criticism is worth acknowledging quietly if it keeps you from losing your job.

5) Decide what type of relationship you would like to have with him or her. For example, if he or she is a co-worker, you probably want to be able to tolerate them in the office. When interacting with the person, make a peaceful working relationship your goal. You might want to avoid any conversation with them that doesn't involve work, at least at first.

6)    Recognize it's their problem no matter what the situation. Their judgments reflect their own lack of self-esteem. Distance yourself from their destructive behavior by realizing you haven't done anything wrong.

7)    Nurture yourself so you don't buy into the hurtful opinions of judgmental people out of stress or insecurity. Daily meditation is a great way to let go of negativity. Always be true to yourself and your beliefs and don't back down when the rude judgmental person tries to intimidate you. Even if he or she seems very domineering, don't let him or she persuades you to do something that makes you uncomfortable or behave out of line.
Sometimes people say something in order to rile you up. You should try as much as possible not to let it get to you. Remember that it is their problem and not yours. You should be happy that you are not that way. If they are judging you about something that is none of their business, then why should you care what they say? Think about all of the people who are supportive of you and whose opinion actually matters to you.

In certain times, you might feel better to stand up to someone. Be careful about doing this when it is someone like your boss of course. However in a lot of cases, saying something might make you feel better. Try to stay calm and not let yourself get emotional or angry. That might be just what they want. Instead talk to them and explain your point of view. You may want to just say for them to keep out of it. You could say that it is something that does not concern them or they may not have any real knowledge of what they speak of. You could simply say that you feel differently about the point. For instance, if they are saying something bad about someone you know, you can stand up for them. By showing your support, you may shame the person. They may even see the error of their ways. Sometimes people do not realize how judgmental they are and people can change.

Dealing with judgmental people can be difficult and frustrating and keeping your temper and logically thinking through any actions may help you. Utilize the above tips to help you deal with such people.

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